billy liar's geisha

Rejecting your reality and substituting my own since 1994.

Answer for question 4358.
billy liar's geisha
atelierlune
How do you feel about e-readers? Would you rather read an actual, physical book? Why do you prefer one over the other?
E-readers get the side-eye. I get that the technology allows you to have a lot of textual (and some pictoral I think) information compressed into a relatively small and very sleep form factor. However, you are robbed of all of the non-visual pleasures of reading and you struggle to read things that have any kind of non-linear, non-standard progression or require a frequent return to material such as notes or appendices.

Answer for question 4324.
billy liar's geisha
atelierlune
Are you a designated organ donor? Why or why not?
I am, on my ID. I don't know if my organs are any good, but if they can help someone once I'm gone, then I want them to.

Answer for question 4302.
billy liar's geisha
atelierlune
Have you ever argued over who should pay for something? What was it, and who ended up paying the bill? Have you ever gotten "stuck" with the check at dinner?
My mother and I argue a lot over who will pay for certain items and meals when we are out grocery shopping. Sometimes she wins. Sometimes I do. I guess I've been lucky that I've never been stuck with a bill like that... it's usually other things like when my brother and I went to DC together and he had $40 to him for a week or smth.

Answer for question 4298.
billy liar's geisha
atelierlune
For the writers out there -- have you ever had a story in your head for a while (sometimes years) but just can't get going on it? What are your tips for dealing with this type of writer's block?
Oh, I have mad plots rolling around in my head, have been for years.

I am the last person to ask about writer's block. I can't even fix my own.

(no subject)
billy liar's geisha
atelierlune
Another bad dream - graphic behavior and violence ahoyCollapse )

Answer for question 4266.
billy liar's geisha
atelierlune
If you saw two people fighting on a street corner, would you try to step in and break it up or stay out of it? Why would you make that choice?
This has happened to me before, inasmuch as I've seen people fighting like this. I did not know the people involved nor why they were fighting, and I and the people I was with treated the situation carefully - we weren't rushing to get away (we had phones and we would have quickly called the police and/or given testimony as eye witnesses) but we weren't trying to get involved either. Something like that can be very dangerous, and I think I would only intervene in a fight if I knew the people fighting (at least one of them) or if one person was clearly beating on the other onesidedly and someone might die if an intervention doesn't take place. Otherwise the most one could do is yell at them that you'll call the police.

Answer for question 4258.
billy liar's geisha
atelierlune
Are you proud of yourself? Do you feel that you've accomplished (or will accomplish) the things you want in your life? What other person are you the most proud of and why?
No

God willing, yes

My sister, because she has accomplished all of her goals (it would seem)

Answer for question 4256.
billy liar's geisha
atelierlune
Did you ever have a terrible roommate? What did they do that bothered you so much?
My first ever roommate was the worst. She was gone most of the time, and I frequently took her messages for her. She'd get a dozen in an afternoon, from her mother, her friends, and the restaurant where she worked. She left the window open on her side of the room with the heat on, forbidding me to close it even though that combination was forbidden in the dorms and eventually lead to the pipes leaking a puddle of water on her side of the room that had to be cleaned up. She ended up getting fined for that. I think she smoked pot in the room and was attempted to grow it with a pot that she kept a desk lamp closely trained on, though nothing ever sprouted. She came back to the room late at night and would play music (really bad music, like the same Air songs over and over again), but I couldn't play mine at all during the day without headphones. I wanted to get to know her and understand why she was as she was and what she valued, but she was very categorical in stating that that wasn't going to happen and we would never be friends (which I accept, but when I saw all of our other hall mates thicker than thieves, it made me sad). Finally she moved out just before spring semester ended (another fine). We didn't speak again until senior year.

(no subject)
sei shonagon
atelierlune
We've reached that point in my crush that I'm evaluating the things Spooky says and does for signs that there is some sort of secret relationship taking place (I would keep my relationship secret from the community too, given the way they can be, so a secret in and of itself is not a red flag or anything) - or there's still the chance he'll say or do something totally unacceptable. I think I still want to go back to New York just for the experience of it all, but I don't have to see him. I kind of wish I could talk to someone about it, to get a sense of if he's only into Asian girls half my size or anything else that would let me know that this is a nonstarter and I can just try to wash the crush out of my brain with fan fic. If he blew me off in person, at least for a moment I could look straight into his eyes and have him see me as I really am physically.

I wish I could write beautifully and that I had things to say. Sometimes I read articles about culture and they really don't contribute positively to the universe at all, but in other cases they do, and are educating and funny at the same time. I wish I could do that. When I was younger I know that I thought I could do that, but I can't do it now. I'm not doing it now. I used to be articulate, and I'm not anymore. Yesterday I made a stupid mistake at work, and even though I was able to correct it before the end of my shift, I still thought: this is the reason why I can't have a good job. Because black people have to be 2-3 times as good as everyone else to have normal opportunities, and I'm not that good. My brain is rotten. I make too many mistakes.

I think about all of the things that are wrong with me physically and I wonder if I'll ever be able to sort myself out. Why even bother of thinking about going anywhere when it hurts so much to walk? Why dream of meeting Spooky when I'd be terrified of what he'd think of my toes, or my skin? I'm getting all wound up just thinking about how the next doctor will also be an offensive and uncompassionate idiot asking me stupid questions that make me lose my temper.

I want to be able to help everyone, but I can't. With an infinite amount of money and expertise at my fingertips, I think the only other variable would be time. But I don't have money or expertise. People throw up their Patreons and their GoFundMe's and their PayPals and etc. and I can't contribute to them. I'm supposed to be saving up money to go somewhere this year. More than one place would be cool, but I don't want to get greedy. I'm feeling like something scary is going to happen.

I tried getting a ticket for SDCC this past weekend and that was a total nonstarter. To be honest I've always been unsure as to how much I would get out of it since I'm so not a part of any Western fandom. Western fandoms in particular for comics have a way of crapping out hard on when I get on board. There is an anime room at SDCC, and Miyazaki was there at one point, but it's no anime con.

As usual, I should have been in bed hours ago.

(no subject)
fuji's lunar eclipse
atelierlune
Dreams: Cut for dream violence and weird behaviorCollapse )